It is obvious that the only opinions that matter to some is their own. Those that have signed their letters, thank you. I am sorry for your hurt and hope that you continue to pray. I also ask that you not dismiss the good of the past for the events of the present. For those who simply want to condemn, that's fine. Do so, if you must. I have one more thing that you may want to consider...especially if you love us, whether you agree with my opinions or not, please remember that you do not have the whole story, nor will will you ever. There is a lot more to this that you are thinking. I also want to say that some of you are presuming a lot of information that is simply not accurate. I will not go into those details right now. Remember, for all of us, that partial information or wrong information is gossip and slander; and sins in their own right.
I wrote the first article to update people on where I was at right now. I am sorry for the offense that it has brought. I will not be blogging on this any further for the sake of the feelings of all involved. But suffice it to say that I did really love those that I was humbled to serve as a pastor. And I was not insincere in it at all. If you think I was then you really don't know me at all. I am sorry to you, deeply. I am also aware that anything that I write will be seen as defensive, and when I started I admit that it was. But I have no defense to offer and only ask that you consider loving and praying. None of us can live with the ill will that has been written by any of us.
I was, am and always will be unworthy as a human being. I ask for your forgiveness and love. But if you cannot do this, I will understand. You do not know Melissa's whole story either. The story that brought us to this point is quite significant and at times, tragic. I opened this can of worms by writing my thoughts in the first place...and will now change any further writing to simply penning some thoughts on life, peace and the pursuit of God at this point in life. If you you love, then love. If you pray, then pray, please. If you care, then care. If you hate, judge, and condemn, then I hope that you never experience any wrong turns in your life...and if you do make mistakes, or sin, or whatever...know that those of us who have are here for you if you need. We will also try to do the same.
Hoping that you will receive this in the spirit it is intended. -Dale
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Now a word from Melissa
Ok, my turn…
True friends will love you and be there for you, even when the majority is against you. In the midst of a storm you see who are your true friends and who are only fair weather friends.
Jesus taught us that we need to be more concerned of our own problems, not the problems we consider others to be causing. So when did my life’s decisions become between God, me and those who feel the need? I’m curious when people felt the need or the right to step into God’s role and judge? I’m certain He can handle it on His own. You needn’t worry or take it on yourself. I’m sure you have your own worries and difficulties to handle. I know I certainly have enough of my own that I needn’t feel led to interfere in yours unless asked by you to do so.
It is my life’s motto to do as Jesus said and treat others the way I want to be treated. I’d simply NEVER look at people with the same hostility, or tear them to shreds like I have been. Jesus wouldn’t either. He was compassionate and loving, especially to those who felt least deserving. I can pretend people don’t bother me, but maybe you should know how you do make me feel. I wouldn’t think causing people great emotional pain would make you proud or Jesus proud. People stare, whisper, glare, outright make fun, say hateful things behind your back or to your face. They’ve treated me like a leper, like I’m wearing a scarlet letter. I even been called “Delilah”! I’ve been humiliated, hated, and scorned; It has crushed me, made me want to hide, made me want to cry, made me angry. But more importantly it has taught me how not to treat people. It has made me confident in who I am. It has drawn me ever closer to my Lord. People are so cruel, but Jesus simply loves. You can take everything from me, but you can’t take Jesus’ love from me. It matters not to me if you love me – only that Jesus loves me. “Stone” me if you are so perfect to do so, but ultimately I know Jesus loves me and that’s enough for me!
It’s no wonder people gravitate to other faiths. Not because of Jesus, but because of the horrible ways they’ve been treated by those who are supposed to be examples of Him. I’ve never seen any other faith devour and cannibalize their own as Christians do. Jeepers, so unlike Jesus! Buddhists act more like Jesus that Christians do! Why do we preach “Jesus loves you” if we don’t practice it as His self-proclaimed examples? I do believe that church shouldn’t be a members only social country club where you have to measure up just to belong. I’ve always understood it to be God’s house where anyone is welcome to come and spend time with Him! It is lovely to fellowship with like minded people – but so not the reason for going. I go to church only to spend time with Jesus. Nice people are simply a bonus. How sad that people sometimes aren’t welcome in God’s house, not by God, but by Christians. It shouldn’t matter who is or who isn’t there, our focus should only be on God. If it matters to you, then your focus isn’t on God, the only leader!
Please don’t judge me. That’s God’s job not yours. Stop being the opposite of what He’s taught or how He’s treated people. He’d simply NEVER treat me like a lot of you have. You just simply don’t know me or have tried to. Jesus does. He’s much more qualified than you, so stop it! You’re awful examples. I pray no one ever treats you like I’ve been treated.
Thank you to the few and far between who have been so gracious and kind and Christ-like. If you are reading this – God bless you! You make Him proud. You may not agree, but you are so graciously kind. You get Jesus…you make Him smile. And to the true friends – you make life bearable! You are God’s gifts to us. Nothing compares. You are treasured like gold! If only I could repay you in some way. -Melissa
True friends will love you and be there for you, even when the majority is against you. In the midst of a storm you see who are your true friends and who are only fair weather friends.
Jesus taught us that we need to be more concerned of our own problems, not the problems we consider others to be causing. So when did my life’s decisions become between God, me and those who feel the need? I’m curious when people felt the need or the right to step into God’s role and judge? I’m certain He can handle it on His own. You needn’t worry or take it on yourself. I’m sure you have your own worries and difficulties to handle. I know I certainly have enough of my own that I needn’t feel led to interfere in yours unless asked by you to do so.
It is my life’s motto to do as Jesus said and treat others the way I want to be treated. I’d simply NEVER look at people with the same hostility, or tear them to shreds like I have been. Jesus wouldn’t either. He was compassionate and loving, especially to those who felt least deserving. I can pretend people don’t bother me, but maybe you should know how you do make me feel. I wouldn’t think causing people great emotional pain would make you proud or Jesus proud. People stare, whisper, glare, outright make fun, say hateful things behind your back or to your face. They’ve treated me like a leper, like I’m wearing a scarlet letter. I even been called “Delilah”! I’ve been humiliated, hated, and scorned; It has crushed me, made me want to hide, made me want to cry, made me angry. But more importantly it has taught me how not to treat people. It has made me confident in who I am. It has drawn me ever closer to my Lord. People are so cruel, but Jesus simply loves. You can take everything from me, but you can’t take Jesus’ love from me. It matters not to me if you love me – only that Jesus loves me. “Stone” me if you are so perfect to do so, but ultimately I know Jesus loves me and that’s enough for me!
It’s no wonder people gravitate to other faiths. Not because of Jesus, but because of the horrible ways they’ve been treated by those who are supposed to be examples of Him. I’ve never seen any other faith devour and cannibalize their own as Christians do. Jeepers, so unlike Jesus! Buddhists act more like Jesus that Christians do! Why do we preach “Jesus loves you” if we don’t practice it as His self-proclaimed examples? I do believe that church shouldn’t be a members only social country club where you have to measure up just to belong. I’ve always understood it to be God’s house where anyone is welcome to come and spend time with Him! It is lovely to fellowship with like minded people – but so not the reason for going. I go to church only to spend time with Jesus. Nice people are simply a bonus. How sad that people sometimes aren’t welcome in God’s house, not by God, but by Christians. It shouldn’t matter who is or who isn’t there, our focus should only be on God. If it matters to you, then your focus isn’t on God, the only leader!
Please don’t judge me. That’s God’s job not yours. Stop being the opposite of what He’s taught or how He’s treated people. He’d simply NEVER treat me like a lot of you have. You just simply don’t know me or have tried to. Jesus does. He’s much more qualified than you, so stop it! You’re awful examples. I pray no one ever treats you like I’ve been treated.
Thank you to the few and far between who have been so gracious and kind and Christ-like. If you are reading this – God bless you! You make Him proud. You may not agree, but you are so graciously kind. You get Jesus…you make Him smile. And to the true friends – you make life bearable! You are God’s gifts to us. Nothing compares. You are treasured like gold! If only I could repay you in some way. -Melissa
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Nice to hear from you
It is amazing to me how few people responded to my blog when I was living up to their expectations, but now that I have "failed" in life once again, the responses come out. What really comes out is that which proves my points completely.
In our "modern" version of the faith, people feel the need to judge, condemn, and be critical freely. I really don't see Jesus acting like my respondents have on this blog. In my article I admitted my failure and voiced my opinion about what people act like who otherwise call themselves followers of Jesus. The self-righteous responses by most who did take the time to respond, is evident and proves my points. I am not asking you to condone anything. I am not asking you to refrain from hurting. One person said that my life proves that it is true, Christians are hypocrites. A hypocrite is one who says one thing and does another. I would suggest that I am not the one being hypocritical, because I have freely admitted my wrong and do indeed plead for the mercy of God...do you? I was, however, being real about where I am today. You needn't agree. But you did choose to read and some chose to respond.
To those who wrote rather scathing remarks, I forgive you. I also want to remind some of you that only God, you and I know some of the things that you have hidden in your closet, and they're not pretty! Do you want me to launch this kind of judgment against you? I think not. You also needn't worry. Unlike some of you, I understand the word "confidential" and will continue to keep your confidences.
I am only asking that you consider responding like Jesus would. Believe it or not, I still love you and thank you for your love if you choose to give it.
I have had some rather interesting experiences this past week. I have had a number of people who have come by to see me (and us), even going out of their way to do so, just to tell me that they love me...unconditionally...that they even will hang out with us, that is Melissa and me, without judgment... and yes, they are true believers in Jesus. I am grateful for each and every one of you who have done so. Most of those who have come to us and expressed their love had read the blog. While some of you may categorize these in the same way you have me, I will not submit to that religious spirit that you launch against us. Did your grandma ever say to you, "If you haven't something nice to say, say nothing"?
So, with this response to the responses, I will bid you farewell for a while. Next blog will feature a special guest writer... Melissa has asked to respond to those who choose to be so callous and uncaring... what she has written is very good and very real. When you read it all that I ask is that you consider this statement from me...you don't know what you don't know...so before you judge us, remember that you only have what information, or gossip, that you have...
Have a nice day!
-Dale
Next blog from me: Why Buddhists are more Christian than many Christians...thought that might get your attention....
In our "modern" version of the faith, people feel the need to judge, condemn, and be critical freely. I really don't see Jesus acting like my respondents have on this blog. In my article I admitted my failure and voiced my opinion about what people act like who otherwise call themselves followers of Jesus. The self-righteous responses by most who did take the time to respond, is evident and proves my points. I am not asking you to condone anything. I am not asking you to refrain from hurting. One person said that my life proves that it is true, Christians are hypocrites. A hypocrite is one who says one thing and does another. I would suggest that I am not the one being hypocritical, because I have freely admitted my wrong and do indeed plead for the mercy of God...do you? I was, however, being real about where I am today. You needn't agree. But you did choose to read and some chose to respond.
To those who wrote rather scathing remarks, I forgive you. I also want to remind some of you that only God, you and I know some of the things that you have hidden in your closet, and they're not pretty! Do you want me to launch this kind of judgment against you? I think not. You also needn't worry. Unlike some of you, I understand the word "confidential" and will continue to keep your confidences.
I am only asking that you consider responding like Jesus would. Believe it or not, I still love you and thank you for your love if you choose to give it.
I have had some rather interesting experiences this past week. I have had a number of people who have come by to see me (and us), even going out of their way to do so, just to tell me that they love me...unconditionally...that they even will hang out with us, that is Melissa and me, without judgment... and yes, they are true believers in Jesus. I am grateful for each and every one of you who have done so. Most of those who have come to us and expressed their love had read the blog. While some of you may categorize these in the same way you have me, I will not submit to that religious spirit that you launch against us. Did your grandma ever say to you, "If you haven't something nice to say, say nothing"?
So, with this response to the responses, I will bid you farewell for a while. Next blog will feature a special guest writer... Melissa has asked to respond to those who choose to be so callous and uncaring... what she has written is very good and very real. When you read it all that I ask is that you consider this statement from me...you don't know what you don't know...so before you judge us, remember that you only have what information, or gossip, that you have...
Have a nice day!
-Dale
Next blog from me: Why Buddhists are more Christian than many Christians...thought that might get your attention....
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Where did Dale go?
After nearly a year of silence on this blog it's time for me to speak. Over the past several months much has changed in my life. Last December I left the ministry at the church that I founded and led for 15 years. My personal life changed dramatically.
Today I am working as a customer accounts manager with a local Aaron's store. I have moved to Warren, PA and live with the most wonderful girl Melissa, whom I have known for more that 28 years. My failures in ministry have effected many people and I am indeed sorry for the injuries caused. But a point that I preached many times proved to be so very true. If our focus is on a man or woman and not on God, we are destined for troubles. For those who leaned into me and saw me as their personal savior, you must now realize that we are all human, leaders included. Our personal lives take twists and turns and we make decisions that can and often do result in brokenness. As an author and Bible teacher I failed, at least as the religious establishment would see it. As a husband I also failed, this I know. However, there are issues within the context of any home that are not seen from the outside. These contribute positively or negatively on life in general.
Many have now decided to speak out publicly against me personally at this time. That is their call. They choose to judge and should be warned that with that same judgment they will also be judged. For many years I preached grace, love, forgiveness and life. I spoke often of our need to refrain from judging others when we only know what we know. I reminded my hearers that Jesus' primary issues were with the religious leaders and their brand of religion. Today I am the subject of their scorn and ridicule and they feel justified in doing so.
But I must post this observation. I spent many years thinking that my brand of Christianity had a corner market on truth. While I preached love and grace, I privately held the view that if you disagreed with my view you were certainly wrong. It is this view that I repent of now. I used to judge others for their positions on many issues. Today I listen to them and keep an open heart to them, knowing that they are on a journey that must be completed and the end of it is before them, sometimes afar off.
As charismatic/pentecostal Christians, the brand of which I was part, our view excluded so many people that it is truly scary. Today I choose to remain open to listening and learning from those who are on the journey of life. While some will think that I have abandoned God, I have not. Others will see my life as filled with sin and in need of correction. I am reminded that all have sinned and all do sin. We need Jesus to cleanse us and make us whole. This I know.
I make no apology for where I am today, for I am pressing on to whatever turn life has in front of me. In the area of personal relationships I am grateful for Melissa, and for all those who are remaining objective enough to love. For those who choose to judge and ridicule, to condemn and criticize, to gossip and back stab, and even for those who in their self-righteousness have determined my/our personal and eternal fate, I say "you are forgiven" and if you have been harmed by me, I ask for your forgiveness.
I am relieved to not be a pastor any longer. I am relieved on so many levels that I cannot relate them all to you. I am also struggling in some important areas such as finances, etc. I am sure that some will be happy to hear this, while others will be more understanding and helpful. I have not lost faith, but my faith has grown to embrace certain other things that I will write about later. Meantime, I am going to update this whenever I feel like it and if you read it, fine and if not, who cares?
Have a nice life!
Today I am working as a customer accounts manager with a local Aaron's store. I have moved to Warren, PA and live with the most wonderful girl Melissa, whom I have known for more that 28 years. My failures in ministry have effected many people and I am indeed sorry for the injuries caused. But a point that I preached many times proved to be so very true. If our focus is on a man or woman and not on God, we are destined for troubles. For those who leaned into me and saw me as their personal savior, you must now realize that we are all human, leaders included. Our personal lives take twists and turns and we make decisions that can and often do result in brokenness. As an author and Bible teacher I failed, at least as the religious establishment would see it. As a husband I also failed, this I know. However, there are issues within the context of any home that are not seen from the outside. These contribute positively or negatively on life in general.
Many have now decided to speak out publicly against me personally at this time. That is their call. They choose to judge and should be warned that with that same judgment they will also be judged. For many years I preached grace, love, forgiveness and life. I spoke often of our need to refrain from judging others when we only know what we know. I reminded my hearers that Jesus' primary issues were with the religious leaders and their brand of religion. Today I am the subject of their scorn and ridicule and they feel justified in doing so.
But I must post this observation. I spent many years thinking that my brand of Christianity had a corner market on truth. While I preached love and grace, I privately held the view that if you disagreed with my view you were certainly wrong. It is this view that I repent of now. I used to judge others for their positions on many issues. Today I listen to them and keep an open heart to them, knowing that they are on a journey that must be completed and the end of it is before them, sometimes afar off.
As charismatic/pentecostal Christians, the brand of which I was part, our view excluded so many people that it is truly scary. Today I choose to remain open to listening and learning from those who are on the journey of life. While some will think that I have abandoned God, I have not. Others will see my life as filled with sin and in need of correction. I am reminded that all have sinned and all do sin. We need Jesus to cleanse us and make us whole. This I know.
I make no apology for where I am today, for I am pressing on to whatever turn life has in front of me. In the area of personal relationships I am grateful for Melissa, and for all those who are remaining objective enough to love. For those who choose to judge and ridicule, to condemn and criticize, to gossip and back stab, and even for those who in their self-righteousness have determined my/our personal and eternal fate, I say "you are forgiven" and if you have been harmed by me, I ask for your forgiveness.
I am relieved to not be a pastor any longer. I am relieved on so many levels that I cannot relate them all to you. I am also struggling in some important areas such as finances, etc. I am sure that some will be happy to hear this, while others will be more understanding and helpful. I have not lost faith, but my faith has grown to embrace certain other things that I will write about later. Meantime, I am going to update this whenever I feel like it and if you read it, fine and if not, who cares?
Have a nice life!
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