It is obvious that the only opinions that matter to some is their own. Those that have signed their letters, thank you. I am sorry for your hurt and hope that you continue to pray. I also ask that you not dismiss the good of the past for the events of the present. For those who simply want to condemn, that's fine. Do so, if you must. I have one more thing that you may want to consider...especially if you love us, whether you agree with my opinions or not, please remember that you do not have the whole story, nor will will you ever. There is a lot more to this that you are thinking. I also want to say that some of you are presuming a lot of information that is simply not accurate. I will not go into those details right now. Remember, for all of us, that partial information or wrong information is gossip and slander; and sins in their own right.
I wrote the first article to update people on where I was at right now. I am sorry for the offense that it has brought. I will not be blogging on this any further for the sake of the feelings of all involved. But suffice it to say that I did really love those that I was humbled to serve as a pastor. And I was not insincere in it at all. If you think I was then you really don't know me at all. I am sorry to you, deeply. I am also aware that anything that I write will be seen as defensive, and when I started I admit that it was. But I have no defense to offer and only ask that you consider loving and praying. None of us can live with the ill will that has been written by any of us.
I was, am and always will be unworthy as a human being. I ask for your forgiveness and love. But if you cannot do this, I will understand. You do not know Melissa's whole story either. The story that brought us to this point is quite significant and at times, tragic. I opened this can of worms by writing my thoughts in the first place...and will now change any further writing to simply penning some thoughts on life, peace and the pursuit of God at this point in life. If you you love, then love. If you pray, then pray, please. If you care, then care. If you hate, judge, and condemn, then I hope that you never experience any wrong turns in your life...and if you do make mistakes, or sin, or whatever...know that those of us who have are here for you if you need. We will also try to do the same.
Hoping that you will receive this in the spirit it is intended. -Dale
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About Me
- Dr. Dale Haight
- Doctorate in Theology, Master's in Literature, working presently as a customer accounts manager, living life and loving new adventures. I am very concerned about specific parts of Africa, the earth and our lack of care for it, and a warped view of Christianity that is judgmental and exclusionary.
21 comments:
Dale,
I guess I am writing this to you as possibly the last time I will ever communicate with you. The first letter I wrote you I spent a lot of time on and I used many stories and memories. I also did a lot of writing and rewriting. I don’t want it to be like that, I just want you to hear my heart. So sorry if this is not proofread and perfect. I am saying whatever comes into my mind at the time. I am sure you have been wondering about me and what I have to say about this situation or maybe you don’t care, it is hard to tell. I guess this is the time to find out. This letter is filled with “I” because I want you to know how “I” feel. You may be wondering why I have chosen to use your blog so that the world can see this personal email. I guess all I can say is that I want the world to see what I have to say. I have not only been silent to you but to most everyone that is close to me. I have not talked to you for 5 months. The last conversation we had was working on the deer just hours after hearing the truth. No part of me wanted to be with you, I just did it for my mom. I remember asking you if I could ask you some questions, “not of the past, but of the future,” and you reluctantly said yes. I never once thought that I should be asking, “ are you going to stay with my mom?” I just thought that that was a given. Anyways...I have so many mixed emotions about this situation. I have no idea what to say or what to do. I am just going to try to spill my heart out to you. As I sit here listening to prayer songs (“Incense” is my favorite) and fighting back tears. I feel compelled to tell you that I love you and thank you for all you have done in my life. I have learned many of life’s lessons the easy way because of your example; however, some good and some bad. Thank you for what you did for Amber, I just wish that you could have continued to be a good influence in her life. I am sure that this is not Biblical but I use to tell people that I knew that God did not like divorce, but it seemed like it was suppose to happen. I am not so sure now what to think. Amber and I have not known what to do over the past several months. We find ourselves wanting to talk with you but at the same time we are not sure what to say. One minute we hate you and next we love you. You have let me down. I have shed little tears over the past few months, but right now I cannot control them. I hate you for what you have put my mom through. I can’t believe the strength that she has shown, but I know that she is a wreck inside. Her strength is rapidly deteriorating. I love her more now then ever. Many people wonder how I am doing and I tell them that I am well, but that is not all true. My relationship with God is strong but I am not where I thought I would be at this time. I was looking forward to growing in God with you and learning about the ministry from you. I was really growing fast and I still am but at slower rate. I am not sure you really know how hard the past five months have been on my family and me. This is truly the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. Reading your blogs hurt so badly. Seeing you with her hurts so badly. I am not even sure who you are anymore. Is this the real Dale or was the Dale that I grew up with the real person. Even the music you say you like on your profile page is not you. I have owned cd’s by those very artists for years and you never listened to them. You liked them but not enough to call them your favorites. You have changed yourself into a different person for Melissa. You are not even trying to be sensitive to our family’s feelings. You are almost flaunting your relationship in front of us and others. You are not showing any remorse or repentance. That is hard for me understand. You have to understand that you can’t say you’re sorry or ask for forgiveness if you keep doing the same things over and over again. The things you and Melissa are saying are just so hurtful to me. The things you are saying are just not you…or are they? I just don’t think that you know what you are doing to us. You are in your own little world with no care of how it effects us. I just keep thinking how much I love you. I never said it much, but I do or did or something like that. Just the other day I heard a classic rock song and I had to fight the tears thinking of quizzing you in the car. I feel like you died. Sometimes I think that this all would have been easier to deal with if this was a death and not whatever this is suppose to be. I cannot believe some of the things people have said about my mom and me during the last few months. Warning—bunny trail. To the person who said that we are reeling in our own self-pity…get a life and stay out of mine. Sorry, but that is how I feel and you know who you are. You haven’t talked to my family or me so how would you know anyways. By the way your sin of choice is gossip and you are very good at it. Every person I know cannot stand the fact that you gossip non-stop. Everyone says, “I don’t know how her husband can stand her, he is so nice, but she can’t keep her mouth shut.” And when I say everyone I mean- your family members, church family, and even church leadership members. Oh…and by the way, I am pretty sure that what I just said would be considered judging. I am sure that you will have fun telling everyone about how horrible I am to anyone who will listen. I guess you can caulk this one up to “eye for and eye” not “turn the other cheek”. I have been turning the other cheek for years. This feels better. And by the way only a handful of people will know whom I am talking about and for the rest of you it is none of your business so don’t gossip about it. Sorry for the side note but I needed to get that off my chest. So anyways…I really hurt inside when I think about my kids and knowing that you bought Melissa’s kids presents and her presents for Christmas. Not to mention a ring??? It is not about the gifts within themselves but the meaning and the love that is behind them. My heart is breaking. I cannot believe the grasp that lust can have over a man’s life. If there is one thing that I have learned it is to not let those thoughts into my life. I know that it is the second glance that leads to destruction. The song “Slow Fade” by Casting Crowns reminds me what you went through. I am struggling with how someone that has help so many people could not help himself. You knew what to do. You knew the signs…the “sin nature”. I think back the day in the woods…the last time I would walk in the woods with you… and I remember wanting to talk with you about how I had noticed a change in you. We walked for an hour and you didn’t stop talking. It was like old times. How I treasure those times in my life. Finally I felt that I could bring it up and I told you that you could talk to me. I knew that you were going through stuff but I truly had no idea that you were cheating on my mom and again just hours after spending time with you in the woods before going on your “trip”. I wish that I could have helped you like you have helped me. I have always felt like I have very good insight, although I missed a big one right under my nose, and I need to tell you how I feel about your “fall”. Ever since I can remember I have felt like pride was your sin of choice or not by choice, how ever you look at it. I have endless examples of this that I don’t feel that I need to give. I believe that this was the devil’s opening in your life that kept you in recent months from more of God. I really believe that this all started with those struggles and questions to God. You were consumed with your ministry but your personal relationship with God was hurting. You became burned out trying to fix things yourself. Other churches were growing and doing building additions and PF had hit a plateau. I believe that you began to struggle with this. You asked God why not PF, it was a blow to your ego. I believe that God had tried to get you to let that sin go but you wouldn’t. The devil used pride to trap you. This other woman was stroking your ego and she needed you and that made you feel good. I don’t know if you have been struggling to find out what went wrong or how this could have happened or if you care at all. But if you ever find yourself trying to find out some answers with God start with Pride. Lust was just a secondary sin in this case. I don’t know how true this really is and I am not looking for confirmation but I think that I am pretty close. I hurt so badly when I think of you spending time with her kids and growing up with you in their lives, selfish on my part I suppose. I hope that you realize that when she is your age you will be in your 70’s. I just wonder if she will do the same thing to you. My mom loves you and wants you back with no questions asked. Trudy loves you and Melissa needs you. I am sure she loves the fact that you rescued her. I have read the notebook and it didn’t sound a lot like love to me. It sounded disgusting and a disgraceful to my mom, my family and to God. And just so you know, I found it all on my own. I struggle the most with wondering what you are doing. I can’t figure you out. What you do and say is just confusing. You are an intelligent person and I can’t help but think that you are up to something. Why this limbo state of life? What is going on? Initially I hoped that you were spending time away to reflect, pray, praise, and read the word. I now know that that was only wishful thinking. It is obvious that you still love (lust) Melissa and you are trying to make that part of your life work. You are being selfish. You are hurting my mom and me and Amber and the rest of the family with your fleshly desires. I find myself just wanting you to make a decision but I don’t want to push you and have you make a premature decision. If you did not have feelings for Melissa you would be spending more time, some time, any time with my mom. You would be telling her what you were really dealing with, but you aren’t. We are all just having to hope for the best but thinking about and witness the worst. I am ready to close this chapter in my life. I just wonder if you will be in the next chapter. Every time I play the guitar I think of you and how I wish I could sit down with you and learn. I just want to play like you. I don’t know what my future looks like in my walk with God. I have learned many good things from you but I have certainly learned from your mistakes. I just don’t understand. I have so many questions for you, but to be honest I don’t know if you would tell me the truth. If you and I ever talk again it will be on one condition. That I can ask you anything and you will answer me truthfully. I don’t want to have to discern what is truth and what is a lie. If you can’t give me the truth then you may never hear my voice again and you may not even care. I am also not interested in purposeless banter back and forth on your blog. I will hopefully not ever write on here again and I wish that no one would, including you. But, I am sure that that won’t happen. I am not in a place right now to forgive you. There are still too many unanswered questions and I feel like there is still more hurt to be had. I am sure that some day I will forgive you, but I will never forget this time in my life. I hope that I can learn from all of this and never allow history to repeat itself in my life. You know that I always try to ask (What God?) not (Why God?). I am sure that someday I will see what God was trying to teach me from all of this. I don’t want your generational curse on my family. I love you even now but I can’t say that I like you. I just can’t believe that you are going to walk out on everyone in your life. Shaylie no longer calls you “Grandpa”, she just calls you “Dale”. She has so many questions. She is much smarter than I was at that age. I can’t believe how aware of the situation she is and I was one year older than she is when I went through this kind of situation. You are loosing everyone that you ever cared about and who ever cared about you, with only a few exceptions. I don’t understand how you think that people are just going to be okay with this situation. Do you really think that people are just going to treat you the same way? You were their spiritual father not their savior. They feel like I do about my father…confused. You see- I sin, we all sin in certain moments in time, but living in a perpetual state of sin is something that people, and me, are struggling with. Does sin end when you marry her or when you get a divorce or never? (rhetorical questions only) I am glad that I have the best God, the best wife, the best kids, the best mom, and the best natural dad a person could ask for. I always thought that I also had the best step-dad, but I suppose that not all can be perfect. Just a brief note to Melissa I am obviously hurt that you played and 50% role in doing this to my family, but I am mostly hurt that you lied to my mother’s face. You wrote her a letter stating that it was over between you and Dale and she asked you face to face about it and you lied to her. That is just unacceptable. Well, I feel emotionally spent. I am sure that there is much more that I could say but I have said enough and maybe even too much. I want you to stay in my life as my step-dad but I hope you return soon and not because Melissa doesn’t want you but because you want to. But, if you go…I will be praying for you, I hope to see you in heaven, and…goodbye Dale.
Aaron
way to go doc anything you have to do to keep in the center of attention. Even writing blogs that get you abused at least you got attention. Aaron is smart not to trust or believe in you as a person anymore, you'll say what ever you need to to try to get the attention including promising not to spout off anymore. It won't last you can't be counted on to keep any promise. Take note Melissa of how he treats his family.
Hello Dale
I have had so many mixed feeling about what has happened with you and PF. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this whole thing was NO surprise to God. He knew that you were going to fall and your vision for PF was forfilled ( finished ).
I think you will have to agree that God has raised up Rick for such a time as this. With a new, fuller and brighter vision for PF and where God wants us at PF to go. God has poured out an anointing upon Rick that is difficult to put into words, its just AWESOME. Its the oil of JOY.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will touch you in a way that leads you to repentance and restoration.
Again thank you for your teaching and forgive me for not holding you up in prayer as I should have. I promise I will not do this to Rick and the others in leadership. May the Lord manifest himself to you in such away that the weight of his conviction is so heavy you can not deny his word.
Jim Gillette, Jr.
Dale,
I was pleasantly surprised to see this blog forwarded from Dottie today. I would really like to reconnect w/you, Dale. You were always a favorite cousin, and I always enjoyed talking w/you. Wondered if you ever received my letter I sent to Aaron's...the only way I knew to get in touch w/you. Please know that I'm in the court of not judging you and understand way more than you may think. Would love to hear from you if you have time: my email is momdeb44@yahoo.com
Cousin Debi
I'm sure you wouldn't know me at all, I only met you a few times. But here's what I have to say. My husband (fiance at the time)and I got in several arguments over PF. The instant I met you I felt your insincerity and pride. It made me worry about this church that my fiance 'loved' and claimed to have met with God at. After meeting rick I was comforted that there were Godly people there but everytime you opened your mouth I felt the spirit of God holding me back and showing me that your words were just words to you, that made you feel powerful and loved. Don't you understand why this IS everyones business? The pastor of a church represents them.... and when you left your wife and went to live with the other woman you represented them. Your sin not only hurt their feelings but their witness. The COMMUNITY is laughing at you, the church and God... and that alone should be proof that God did not 'bring you two together' and that it was the work of the devil? No offense but do you think God would let his name be soiled so a couple of ungodly christians could shack up and have an 'adventure'?
You're right... we all have sinned. But what makes a person who has a real relationship with christ different is one word... REPENTANCE. How a man (and a woman) can have slipped so far into rebellion against God to actually talk about Jesus and His love and not realize they are under His condemnation is absurd. You can talk about how we don't know your story, or how in love you are, or how 'right' you feel in your actions but none of that changes the truth of sin. God doesn't bend the rules depending on circumstances.
Basically what I most wanted to point out that hasn't been seriously address, was the way you dragged God's name in mud to all the non believers in the area and hurt the witness of every member of that church. And if that doesn't crush your heart I'll just say... I'm not surprised.
In memory of Lefty Haight ...
The words of Solomon, the son of David
Poverty and shame will come tohim who disdains correction...Prov 13:17
Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way and he who hates correction will die. Prov 15:10
He who is often rebuked and hardens his neck will suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy. Prov 28:28
This is the way of an adulterous woman sje eats and wipes her mouth and says I have done no wikedness Prov 30:20
A wise man fears and departs from evil but a fool rages and is self-confident. Prov 14:16
A wise son heeds his father's instruction but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Prov 13:1
A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother. Prov 10:1
Lefty deserved better than this, and your mother too. You should be ashamed of yourself.
……I have known your wife for quite a long time….you know… your wife of 22 years next month. I remember in her testimony she said 2 or 3 years into your marriage you began making comments about the anointing God had on your life to preach/teach and she wanted no part of being a pastor’s wife. But after prayer and a couple fleeces she knew God was opening the door….first as campground chaplains, then Gouldtown Community Church then the beginning of PF. Once she crossed the line she was committed in every way. Her love for you and the Lord were the overriding factors to taking the “leap of faith” for her. She became your best asset. She was talented and brought with her the anointing of the Lion of Judah, she was gifted in hearing from the Lord but speaking only when she was sure. Her sons brought their talents and what a beginning for a worshipping church.
She was your greatest supporter….proofreading your book, your masters and doctoral papers, promoting your CD and making arrangements for a second one. When you traveled she organized prayer teams and fasted and was oh so proud of you. She took what you know was a giant step for her to travel to the Arctic and Mexico to be your teammate. And what about becoming a licensed minister in her own rite…..you were so proud of her the day of her installation.
On the home front she provided a lovely, comfortable refuge for you to return to every day. She took great joy in meeting your needs and helping you be the best you could be. She spent many lonely nights alone while you counseled or did emergency visits, etc. She managed your money well…getting you out of a lot of debt and getting you an excellent credit rating. She sacrificed like no one else I know so that every purchase made was cash with the exception of a car. She did without for many years personally so the mortgage could be paid off asap.
Her greatest joy was planning your trips to Maine where the two of you could hide way and disconnect from everyone and everything. A place where you could focus on falling in love with each other again. The two of you loved making memories together. I know…I’ve seen the scrapbooks and photo albums.
Trudy still believes with all her heart that someday you will lay your hands on her tumor and God will remove it. She is a woman of great faith, love and forgiveness and feels strongly that God is not done with her or you, Dale.
Nothing in me believes God told you to leave this precious woman, your partner for life, for someone else.
Dear A True TRUDY, You and Dale never went without anything. Debbie, Tracy and Jamie were the ones who went without out. Too Bad Debbie isnt here to set the record straight. Havent forgotten what the to of u did to a dieing woman.
Dale,
It's T.J.... I could be no one to you, who knows. It doesn't matter, you still played a part in my life, just like a lot of people at praise fellowship did... whether all that matters now or not, who knows? I have been out of the loop for a while now. PF was my spiritual home, it's still close to my heart, and it's why I was blessed to be married there. It's why I write this now...
I am writing this not knowing if I'm going to send this. This whole thing is very bizarre, this whole format with people writing on here... and how sad and very exposed it is. It's sad that there is so much pain and hurt. It's sad that, most likely no matter what I write won't make a difference.
I myself am a raggedy Christian, I play guitar every Sunday on a worship team in a Southern Baptist Church outside of Memphis, Tn., I hardly ever enter into worship myself, I am fighting and struggling to read my bible every day, to pray every day and I definitely don't consider myself as the completely ideal caring loving husband God wants me to be. I still seek though; because I can't stop... because HE refuses to.
I have been all over the world, yet I have not found a place that felt as comfortable to me as Praise!. I was so close to God then, and was for many years after. In 2003 I returned from Baghdad a very changed man, I stopped praying, stopped listening, stopped caring and I turned away from God. And when I reached the bottom, I'm sure you can relate (who couldn't), God pulled me back to him... He didn't quit, he didn't give up on me even when I flat out turned my back and gave up on him.
I am not qualified to judge nor is anyone but HIM. But I am well versed and qualified, as a certified Sinner, to externally identify sin when I do see it... God also reminds me of each one I commit. I sin, I'm not proud of it, but I do it all the time, I hate it... God loves us by revealing to us our sins, He's our father... If your child disobeyed you, wouldn’t you discipline him? He can show his love by smacking us on our hand. We feel the sting and we repent. We repent by ‘turning away’. I know you may feel it’s not sin, just a mistake, but if I was doing something wrong and everyone told me about it I would also feel very defensive. I just did it today, I probably will tomorrow. Well ‘Let he who has no sin cast the first stone’ right? Well no matter what… no matter who says it… the sin defined by God’s word, is sin. And I would expect God’s people, in full representation of Jesus, would try identify ‘sin’ to one another in a loving, and caring, sort of way.
Paul in his letters to the church’s would usually show a tactful, loving way, of rebuking fellow Christians, to not always condemn but to guide, redirect, empower, and lift up. So that’s my attitude in this post, and everyone can consider it as being Omni-directional as well.
It’s not only so much that I sin. It’s when it becomes sin compounded - when I stop to acknowledge it, recognizing it, when I stop listening, and trying to justify my sin to myself, justifying it to God. That's what scares me... That's when we are in over our head. And if we don’t stop now, how much damage do we cause to ourselves, our relationships, and most importantly of all; our relationship with God? When we are so completely emptied out, that nothing wholesome exists. And in defense of our self-righteousness we have burned every bridge on our path to our own demise. When do we stop and turn back?
I didn’t get to know you very well when you were my pastor, never pretended that I did. But Did I ever in a million years expect this to happen to you? No, but am I surprised that it did... of course not, why would I be, why would anyone be, you just simply fulfilled your role as a sinner. We can all play the part, and we all do it very well...
You are a man... your very nature is to sin, sinning is the low road that is easiest, and can also be the most comfortable, and enjoyable to take. I can somewhat understand when you say you are relieved to not be a pastor any longer. I feel I could never be a pastor myself, because I feel like I would make a horrible pastor. As a Christian, you are automatically held to a higher standard than the rest of the world, but as a pastor you are held to an even higher standard than a Christian is. Not by God, but by man. I would hate to be held to that high of standard, because It would burden me everyday knowing how sinful I really am. It's hard enough to represent Christ now, little alone being the leader of many Christians. But if you can't guide your flock to food and water; then you need to hand the staff over to someone who can.
Here where I am, I am blessed to have a pastor in my life right now that acknowledges that he is a sinful man who struggles. If he stopped acknowledging he was a sinner tomorrow, I would no longer feel right calling him my pastor. And if he stopped reminding me that I am a sinner, than he is not doing his job. But thinking and acting is two different things, and if he put action to his thoughts he wouldn't be pastor today. No one would, that’s the difference...
One of the best things Jesus did was revealing sin when he saw it, even when most people didn’t even realize it. We sometimes forget that, He didn’t come to bring peace to earth, but a sword… to eternally separate, saved and unsaved, the sin from sinners.
It's amazing how murdering someone in your heart and murdering someone physically means a world of difference in our society.
Well to Jesus there was no difference...
With just our eyes, we could commit adultery.
It's unfortunate that while Jesus and your former flock can forgive you, you can no longer be trusted to hold that title again, that well earned Doctorate has instantly become irrevelant. It sucks, Honestly! None of it matters now...
If I died today, at war or at home, they would have someone else doing my job tomorrow. At church they would have someone else playing guitar... I’m replaceable, I’m expendable…
I am nobody!
God will just replace me; with someone else if I refuse to do his will... it's that simple.
I, like you, am NOBODY to God, when we don't choose to him, and seek his will.
It’s not that he stops loving us, God never gives up on us… it’s that we have decided to become irrelevant, we aren’t doing anything for the ONLY thing that truly matters in this life, and that’s building up his kingdom.
We can all serve his purpose at anytime… take up his cross.
I don't know where it went wrong, I don't care honestly... It doesn't matter to me. I've heard the same story dozens of times... I myself was raised in a broken home, seeing how bitterness and selfishness can destroy a home.
If I had to guess what happened, you probably fulfilled each other’s void. She needed emotional fulfillment, you most likely; like me and every other guy I know needed physical fulfillment. And you simply fell into each other’s vacuum...
I know you say we don't know the whole story; would it make a difference, if we did? Does it make a difference to God? Honestly? It doesn't matter how you got from point A to point B. You can drive by a bad car accident, and reasonably deduce that somewhere between point A and B, something went awfully wrong. It’s clearly been established that somebody doesn't know how to drive.
However it’s what you do next that's going to truly define you...
You can still serve His purpose...
Simply by not chasing after resolutions of your own…
I know I’m not considered to have a dog in this fight, but I have become deeply troubled by everything as it has evolved. This affair involves a lot or things. It represents your ministry, Praise Fellowship, your family, your friends, and your legacy (good or bad).
You were my pastor, and I hope the best for you and would pray that you will seek, and find redemption in every unfortunate thing that has been dealt. You have talents and knowledge that most people will never possess. I only hope all that hasn’t forever gone to waste…
I hope you seek God’s will, and show honor in the next steps you take…
My pastor taught me something in the short time I've been married, and I ask that you would do the same... he told me when I reach the point that I don't feel like loving the wife God gave me, that I should pray for her... Needless to say, I've prayed for her a lot, and she has for me too...
At this point I would say,
Don’t do what you feel is right, do what is the least comfortable...
And if you would be willing, pray for Trudy...
In Christ, TJ
P.S. I would recommend the next time you want to have an adventure, you should just buy a corvette…
If you need anything; or if you would like to say hi. iamtjlantz@yahoo.com
also watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDgzGN9WBSA
turn it up!
Terry McCalmon, Randy & Paula White, Ted Haggard, Mike Guggliamenti, Todd Bentley, Earl Paulk...DALE HAIGHT.
Tell me how you might counsel me on staying married according to the covenant in which our 'I DO's'
are rooted and grounded?
Tell me how one's Doctorate Degree can give one such a sense of justification for their sense of self righteousness which for all intent and purpose is actually based on faulty biblical reasoning?
Have you been given over to strong delusion? Is your mind reprobate?
Just a thought...
I'm so hurt by all this. I was so shocked that this thing has happened. I'm praying for you, Trudy, Praise Fellowship. Sometimes I'm driving and I think of you and how you where such a support to Tom and me, during our rough times in our marriage. You even told me once that how our marriage has healed was like someone being healed of cancer. I know can heal your marriage and I'm not going to stop believing and praying for that. I ache for healing in Trudy and your lives, even if you don't want to be a Pastor anymore. I'm so very sorry this thing has happened and confused as to why you would even say yes to hurting your marriage.
Holly VanTassel (Tom's wife)
I just want to respond to something Aaron, that you said. I did send your mom a letter. I MENT WHAT I SAID. I did try to return what didn't belong to me. I turned him away and sent him back. When he left messages and texts, I did not respond or responded with a quote. Please, don't call me dishonest. I was honest. He was told he was my ticket to Africa. That simply wasn't true. I said that the shared burden for Africa I believed was a sign that God ment for us to be together. There is a difference. I understand why it was said, but it wasn't true. I'd never alter the lives of people merely for a "ticket". That's not who I am. The only reason that we did end up back together, isn't because I "lied". Through circumstances that are not any general person's business, Dale was contacted by my mom and law enforcement as to the danger I and he were in, in an attempt to bring a crimal to justice. In hearing this, he was obviously concerned and contacted me with advice and concern. We talked. This is the truth. I wish so many people who only use this to interfear and voice cruelty didn't have to read. They will only use it for more gossip and unkindness, but I wanted you to know. Since you said it for them to read, i want them and you to know that I've not intented to seem like a liar by writting a letter and not fully following through. I tried. I truely did. Fate interfeared. I would still be on that dreadful path of emotional death if fate had not changed it. So, please know I'm not a liar. It was my intention at that time. I went back to a dreadful situation to mend things that people said I did wrong. It wasn't ment to be. I know noone cares, but it would of eventually killed me. It is easier for everyone to villanize me, but it was never my intention to hurt anyone. I was willing to hurt my own emotional state to save those of everyone else. Don't I get any credit at all for trying? I am sorry. Nothing I ever say will help, but I am sorry to your family. I wish I could make everyone happy, but I cannot. God knows I love Jesus with every fiber of my being.
Sincerley,
Melissa
Your ticket to Africa???? You are both crazy!!! Do you really think you'd be safe in Africa with the demons youve got goin on? I sure wouldnt wanta leav a trip lik that up to fate. U need to get yourself out of this relationship before its too late.
Arron, and the rest of the family, my heart goes out to you, and it just isnt fair. Arron if you do get on and read this, catch the rest of what I have to say. Mary
Dale, first and formost you are my freind and i love you. I also am sorry I did not have the forsight and fortitude to blow the whistle on you sooner, I saw it all come down like many others did and frankly didnt want to believe it. I know nothing of blogs, but I am amazed you would air your dirty laundry, oh yea, why should I be amazed? guess wha? guess I wont hold back. Dale there never was an october NYC missions trip was there? just what did you think I was going to do? And you ruined my life. because I listened to you instead of the Holy Spirit when He said that the man I loved needed to know he was loved and you said to not tell him again, and also had a jealouse outburst. I was confused. were you wrong or was I?, and I truly believe if I did what God wanted I would be with him right now, because he was comming around and instead I barely talked to him for 3 months, because I was afraid to, and he went on to a younger woman. Must be a disease or something. I had a couple of dreams and the one where I was getting married. you handed the microphone over to me, which I wondered about since I had a lapel one on. now it makes sense, you were not there. so there is still hope for my visions and dreams to come true, but what about Trudy's? Also I had a discusting dream, please, know God knows everything and will bring it to light. What happened to DC talks song "What if I stumble, what if I fall, what if I go and makes fools of us all"? you did.
Dale, I am not finished. you have devastated alot of people, mostly your wife. Proverbs says "a blow to a fool's head does him good" I wish I were a man,I wouldnt hessitate. all this sweetness is doing no good. At first I wanted to go out and sin,just because.But I'll do my best not to. I would love too kick you right in the balls, oh, but that is right YOU DONT HAVE ANY. Get a grip mister and come home to Jesus and to your wife. I say all this as friend.you dont have to be a pastor, just run
as fast as you can home and stop fucking up, oh that's right sometimes we just sware, instead of actually doing it. It cant be sugar coated, so stop pretending it is, OK. I will never trust another pastor ever, that is my choice. Im not sure I trust myself now, but I'm not married and you are, so grow up, it's a little too late to go through puberty again, dont you think? And listen to all the wise consel on these blogs. cant say mine is wise, but consider yourself slapped right accross the face. you hurt us, all of us. we grieved, and at Christmas, thanks alot.Stop destroying yourself please because we do care about you and your real family. you should be ashamed, it would do you good. Mary Roller
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