After nearly a year of silence on this blog it's time for me to speak. Over the past several months much has changed in my life. Last December I left the ministry at the church that I founded and led for 15 years. My personal life changed dramatically.
Today I am working as a customer accounts manager with a local Aaron's store. I have moved to Warren, PA and live with the most wonderful girl Melissa, whom I have known for more that 28 years. My failures in ministry have effected many people and I am indeed sorry for the injuries caused. But a point that I preached many times proved to be so very true. If our focus is on a man or woman and not on God, we are destined for troubles. For those who leaned into me and saw me as their personal savior, you must now realize that we are all human, leaders included. Our personal lives take twists and turns and we make decisions that can and often do result in brokenness. As an author and Bible teacher I failed, at least as the religious establishment would see it. As a husband I also failed, this I know. However, there are issues within the context of any home that are not seen from the outside. These contribute positively or negatively on life in general.
Many have now decided to speak out publicly against me personally at this time. That is their call. They choose to judge and should be warned that with that same judgment they will also be judged. For many years I preached grace, love, forgiveness and life. I spoke often of our need to refrain from judging others when we only know what we know. I reminded my hearers that Jesus' primary issues were with the religious leaders and their brand of religion. Today I am the subject of their scorn and ridicule and they feel justified in doing so.
But I must post this observation. I spent many years thinking that my brand of Christianity had a corner market on truth. While I preached love and grace, I privately held the view that if you disagreed with my view you were certainly wrong. It is this view that I repent of now. I used to judge others for their positions on many issues. Today I listen to them and keep an open heart to them, knowing that they are on a journey that must be completed and the end of it is before them, sometimes afar off.
As charismatic/pentecostal Christians, the brand of which I was part, our view excluded so many people that it is truly scary. Today I choose to remain open to listening and learning from those who are on the journey of life. While some will think that I have abandoned God, I have not. Others will see my life as filled with sin and in need of correction. I am reminded that all have sinned and all do sin. We need Jesus to cleanse us and make us whole. This I know.
I make no apology for where I am today, for I am pressing on to whatever turn life has in front of me. In the area of personal relationships I am grateful for Melissa, and for all those who are remaining objective enough to love. For those who choose to judge and ridicule, to condemn and criticize, to gossip and back stab, and even for those who in their self-righteousness have determined my/our personal and eternal fate, I say "you are forgiven" and if you have been harmed by me, I ask for your forgiveness.
I am relieved to not be a pastor any longer. I am relieved on so many levels that I cannot relate them all to you. I am also struggling in some important areas such as finances, etc. I am sure that some will be happy to hear this, while others will be more understanding and helpful. I have not lost faith, but my faith has grown to embrace certain other things that I will write about later. Meantime, I am going to update this whenever I feel like it and if you read it, fine and if not, who cares?
Have a nice life!
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- Dr. Dale Haight
- Doctorate in Theology, Master's in Literature, working presently as a customer accounts manager, living life and loving new adventures. I am very concerned about specific parts of Africa, the earth and our lack of care for it, and a warped view of Christianity that is judgmental and exclusionary.
11 comments:
dale,
I find it so interesting that you judge everyone around you as you tell everyone not to judge you. Give me a break Dale. I also find it so unbelievable how you proclaim that you have not left God.... What god are you referring to? You see, the God of the Bible that you have taught for all these years is obviously not the God you are serving today. When I read this blog all I could think was wow.... thank God He has removed this person from my life. Thank God he has been removed from my childrens lives because he has no right to be a part of our lives. This "new" person you have become..... is a joke. As you so mockingly put it in your text to me months ago "as I am a more mature christian than you, and I know the Bible front to back" , I simply say, grow up! You have taught me a lot in my life Dale. But what you have taught me this past year has been the most important. You keep saying that this is only about you.... that is simply a lie. You are the one that took on the role of my Pastor. You knew that your life would be put in front of us as a church to be an example. Never did I see you as my Saviour. If that were so I would have walked away just as quickly as you did. Yet instead, as I sit here in my house every day taking care of my children, I look up at JESUS and know that although you CHOSE to walk away, I will not... I am stronger now... but all because this man that I loved and admired as a Pastor and more than that, a friend, chose to leave God.. It's so sad.... for what? A woman and a life that you will never be satisfied in. Once Melissa is no longer exciting and you ruin her childrens lives whose will you move onto next? You KNOW that Jesus is the only one that can satisfy that hole and yet you still choose to do this... You can say whatever you want about how you "Know that you need Jesus to cleanse us and make us whole" .... Yeah, the devil "KNOWS" that as well..... is he cleansed and made whole by simply KNOWING that? NO! you can't have it both ways Dale... You really believe you will be whole while living in a place with a woman that is not your wife? You honestly believe that Jesus is going to cleanse you when you refuse to repent? You said in your blog how you "privately held the view that if you disagreed with my view you were certainly wrong. It is this view that I repent of now." WOW you actually repented for something! I find it amazing how you don't choose repentance when it comes to your failing as a Pastor, author, Bible teacher, or even a father and yet you choose to "change your mind" (isn't that what you taught me what repentance was?) about what the BIBLE clearly teaches This blog made me sick. It is simply a man who clearly is not the man that we as a family have loved and admired. Instead we pity you. We pity you because without a doubt you have chosen to satisfy your own desires rather than to lay down your life for the Lord you so often preached about and proclaimed to love. You are releived to not be a Pastor now huh?? Well, guess what? I'm also RELEIVED that you are not my Pastor anymore as well...... You don't deserve that honor!! May God have mercy on you Dale, if you indeed do choose to REPENT......
PS you really need to change your title... you are NO PASTOR and like I said don't deserve that title now.
Jodie Lindell
congrats doc you lived up to what all you christians do, turned out to be a hypocrite.
As I hear it you didn't leave the ministry you got thrown out on your ass for providing Melissa counseling that was way to personal. By the way nice pictures of you and your wife on dalehaight.com.
I know a few 55 year old guys who would love to bag a girl half their age so way to go you loser. You can't find a place to sit at church, your old church, so I don't think they miss you much.
Dale;
For years and through countless sermons and teachings "he" was celebrated for God had answered "his" prayer -- blessing; enlarged territory; God's works accompanying "his" works; and kept from evil.
And yet....time and time again there is one request that the teachers and preachers; the pursuers of grandness and prominence overlooked.
Could it have been the most significant of "his" requests?
This request was answered and I wonder if it held the answer to the other requests in that place of wholeness and holiness.
For without this final request, and its answer...how destructive the other requests could become.
"...that I may not cause pain..."
And now I am troubled, concerned, confused at the "journey" of Dale Haight. For the path that marks his "journey" to this point is filled with people in pain; a pain caused by Dale and his pursuit of blessing, an enlarged territory, and the works of God.
And now I cry out on Dale's behalf; on behalf of his family; on behalf of those whose lives he intersected and often brought pain to their trust; and I cry out for those whose lives he is yet to intersect.
I cry...."Jesus save us! Cause Your mercy to triumph over judgement....to Your own glory and our welfare"
Dale,
Are you kidding me? Clearly this is not the same man who prayed creative miracles into the hospital room of my dying husband! What happened to you, Dale? I recall you preaching on many occasions about the dangers of a man counseling a woman alone. You said that you always took cautious measures when meeting with a woman to protect the safety of your marriage relationship. What happened to that rule, Dale? You are correct when you say that you failed as a husband! I don’t know why Melissa would think that somehow she is “different” from any other woman that has been a subject of your prey. From what I understand this is not the first time that you have done something like this.
Much has changed in your life because you chose to change your life, not because of any other reason. This “new” life that you speak of is a product of your choice. How can you be blessed when you are living in sin? How many times did I hear you preach against sexual immorality, fulfilling the lusts of the flesh, adultery, and the like? Now, somehow it’s ok for you to be living with another young girl who is not your wife? You chose this, Dale and now Trudy suffers! You say that you have known Melissa for over 28 years? That means that you met her when she was 5 years old! Now, how sick is that?! Jodie is correct in what she had to say that when Melissa is no longer exciting……..who will it be next?
What about this passage, Dale? Do you think that you somehow have a “special license” to sin and that you will still be able to blatantly continue and still be covered by grace?
Romans 6
Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ
1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with,[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.
8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
Slaves to Righteousness
15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
Dale, you say you left the ministry that you founded and led for 15 years……..it’s more accurate to say that you were forced to leave because you got caught in the act of adultery. If you want to make yourself think that you left, fine, but remember your choices and your actions forced you out. I had wondered why for so long many ministries in the church such as the dance team were starting to dwindle. Well, I got my answer. Corrupt leadership brings absolute corruption! Since you have left, these ministries have flourished again! Once sin was exposed and removed then God’s hand was able to bless his people again!
Your failures in ministry have effected many people, Dale but for the better. I am sorry to say that, but it is true! I can’t say that I hear sincerity in your statement that you are indeed sorry for the injuries caused?! If you were sorry then you would have repented and made amends! One thing that I have learned from you because of this situation is that if the effect of our sin hurts people so deeply than I want to be free from sin. I want to always be examining my own life and submit myself to Jesus. I never want to be responsible or be held accountable for hurting people with my sin the way that you have hurt so many others with yours. You put yourself in front of us, Dale as a leader and a pastor. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no one leaned into you as their personal savior. We simply loved you and respected you as our pastor, leader, and friend. Isn’t that what a congregation should do? You submitted yourself as an instrument to be used by God and that was what God did……..he used you in many situations to be an instrument for His glory, not for your own! We all endure hardships! We all experience difficult times in marriage, but guess what Dale….we don’t give up! You gave up and for that I am truly sorry! You were surrounded by men and women who loved you and LOVE Jesus. You could have stepped outside of your pride and asked any one of us for prayer, counseling and help. Isn’t that the advice that you always gave us? Instead you chose to follow the lust of the flesh! Even the best marriages weather storms. It’s how you choose to respond to the storms that counts. You failed in this Dale, you failed, not Trudy! So now you walk away from your wife, your step sons and your grandchildren too? Wow! You walk away from Jesus? You can make any kind of statement on a blog indicating that you have not lost faith or that you have not abandoned Jesus, but the truth of the matter is that you have! Call it what it is, Dale!
No one has spoken out against you publicly Dale, you did this on your own. When you are the pastor of the largest church in an area and you suddenly “disappear” don’t you think that public is going to take notice? If you feel judged then maybe you ought to take some of your own advice. As you once said……if I am in sin and if I’m messed up…….I want you all to pray me better. I want you all to love me enough and love Jesus enough to come to me and point out my sin, to love on me and to walk along side of me during the tough times. So what do you have to say about those words that you spoke? Do you call that judgment? You are not the subject of anyone’s scorn. You are the subject of your own scorn. Maybe you need to make statements like this because you feel so guilty? You should feel guilty! I pray that Jesus makes you so uncomfortable in your guilt that you are unable to do anything else but repent and return to Him.
I find it interesting that you call Christianity a “brand” of which you were a part. I thought that you taught us that Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship with Jesus. Or did you change your mind on this too? Did you think you were “privately” holding a view that if others did not agree with you that they were somehow at fault or wrong? It was not private, Dale. We all knew your arrogance and we all knew that you were prideful. We just also knew that we all have sins and struggles that we deal with in our lives and we trusted that the Lord was working on us and you at the same time. For we all fall short of the glory of God. Your statement applies to you in that your life is full of sin and need of correction. Jesus can’t cleanse something that we are unwilling to surrender and repent of.
I find it interesting that you state that your view excluded so many people that it is truly scary and that today you remain open to listen and learn from others on the journey of life. So, are you saying that you no longer believe in the Holy Spirit? Are you saying that you no longer believe in His gifts? Are you saying that your “new” open minded approach now speaks against everything that the Bible teaches us? Are you saying that you no longer hold the beliefs that you once taught? Are you saying that the Bible is now flawed and that it is not truth? I would be careful if I were you, Dale!
I find it interesting that you say that you are sorry for any injuries caused, but yet you also say that you make no apologies for where you are today?!? Double standard as I see it.
I can hardly believe my eyes when I read the statement that you wrote that you are relieved not to be a pastor any longer! Honestly, Dale! You are relieved on so many levels that you can not relate them all to us? Excuse me, but who chose to be pastor? Did we? No! Again, you chose and you failed. Don’t try and manipulate words indicating that for those who choose to judge and ridicule, to condemn and criticize, to gossip and back stab, and even for those who in their self-righteousness have determined my/our personal and eternal fate, I say "you are forgiven" and if you have been harmed by me, I ask for your forgiveness. Give me a break! Again, your guilt coupled with some arrogance.
“My faith has grown to embrace certain other things.” What other things can there be, but truth? I am curious to know what these “other things” can do for your eternal destiny!
And what is this, Dale…… “Meantime, I am going to update this whenever I feel like it and if you read it, fine and if not, who cares? Have a nice life!” Yeah, this is definitely a picture of someone who is sorry for injuries caused. This attitude definitely demonstrates a heart seeking forgiveness to any one harmed. I am sorry for you, Dale because this blog has opened my eyes to see that you have chosen to embrace and revel in sin. You can add all the credentials you want to the end of your name, but in the end this will not save you. You have clearly shown that you are no pastor. You are no leader, at least not any more. You are not the “spiritual father” that I want my children taught under. You are not living for Christ no matter how you think you can justify and rationalize your life. I am relieved that God has removed you from my life because you are not the same person that I once knew and loved and even more than that, respected. Where did that Dale go?
I agree with Jodie in that you do not deserve the honor of holding a title of pastor. Please remove that title from your name. You chose to walk away so don’t think that you can have your cake and eat it too!
You mention that you are struggling in the area of finances……welcome to our world, Dale! Isn’t it fun living pay check to pay check and struggling to make ends meet? The sad thing is that the Lord blessed you with a wife that had a gift in handling finances. Oh, but I forgot, that wasn’t good enough, right?
I pity you, Dale! May God have mercy on your soul if you choose to repent!
Christy Mocny
Dale,
Do you remember (from the Bible) "Verily I say unto you, inasmuch
as ye have done unto one of the least of these my brethren (which includes sisters in Christ), ye have done it unto me.' (Matt. 25:35-40) Think of these words literally, Dale. It means that every time you take Melissa to bed or engage any woman with the intent of bedding her, you are actually doing it to Jesus.
...Kind of turns your stomach doesn't it....
BUT where there is
life, there is hope. As long as you
have life we will be on our knees
praying for your restoration. We
are so sorry that you don't realize
how short the time for being restored is. Our heart bleeds each
Sunday when we see Trudy crying at
the altar for the man she loves.
Dale,
Do you remember (from the Bible) 'Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren (which includes sisters in Christ), ye have done it unto me.' (Matt. 25:35-40). Think of these words literally, Dale. It means that everytime you take Melissa to bed or adulterously engage with her, you are actually doing it to Jesus. Kind of turns your stomach doesn't it...
Dale,
Do you remember (from the Bible) 'Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren (which includes sisters in Christ), ye have done it unto me.' (Matt. 25:35-40). Think of these words literally, Dale. It means that everytime you take Melissa to bed or adulterously engage with her, you are actually doing it to Jesus. Kind of turns your stomach doesn't it...
Your last statement "Have a nice life" sounds more like "good riddance" to me. Why add more fuel to the fire? So many people are hurt, angry, bitter. I'm not bitter. I'm not sure what or who I'm angry about. I can see why though God kept placing walls in front of me when I would proceed to go to counselling with you. The day would come and the Holy Spirit would hit my heart with a heavy burden and I couldn't bring myself to get in the car and go. I even had a dream(yes another dream...whatever, huh?) that I was standing in your backyard. Miss Trudy was on the porch off to the side watching this. You had a chain. You threw it like a lasso around me, binding my arms to my side, I fell to the ground, you then proceeded to drag me across the yard, pulling me towards you and were calling me your wife. After this dream I knew I had been warned. I failed in my promise again to submit my dreams to you...because of how personal and crazy it sounded. And look what happened. Suppose that I, the chained one in this dream, were representing "someone else"? Who would that be? Who would someone that was in your position and power in the church, the body of christ, be throwing the chain around? It wasn't Miss Trudy, she was standing to the side horrified and helpless. Why would you drag someone through the mud with a chain? Personally I believe that I represented "the other woman" and also the church, which included myself. Why would God warn me of "someone", meaning you and your actions, your intentions, the state that your spirit was in, if that "someone" were in the right and doing nothing wrong? I had this dream LONG before any of this happened to you and Miss Trudy. I have always called her Miss Trudy, because it respects her as a person. I wanted her NEVER to feel threatened because I, another woman, would talk to you like a friend. Like someone I do love.
My last comment cont'd:
Please, don't be offended in my comments. Don't be threatened by me. I don't care what other people say about your title. Only God appoints his pastors, only God takes them down, only God corrects his shepherds(sometimes using other people of course at appointed times)But GOD RESTORES< GOD HEALS< GOD SAVES> WE REPENT... TRULY REPENT...ALL of us not just one who has a very public and known sin. And its up to GOD WHO HE REINSTATES! But unfortunately for those of us who are very happy with sinning, the part of repenting that includes laying down your sins and never doing them again...or in other words...walking away from what you ARE doing, is the hardest part of all. Breaking ties that are unholy is hard when we want the ties because they make us feel so good. "It just feels right" whatever that really means anyways)(whats the illusion and what isn't)
I am a sinner. I am still legally married to a man. My wonderful boyfriend is still married to another woman. My "husband" left me and my children for another woman because "he loved her" because "it felt right". He then proceeded to commit bygamy and his life has been hell ever since. God has NOT blessed him even once. I floundered for years afterwards, broken, shattered. I met a man, who when we broke up married someone else. He left her to come back to me. Does that mean I'm in the right? NO! She was hurt in the process and my relationship with my boyfriend, has been one of many hardships and struggles. If God is going to bless my relationship then it will be because we repented and sinned no more. But no...I'm too hard headed and don't want to sacrifice all that I've gone through. I don't want to lose the man I love, no matter how many hard times we go through because of God's scorn for our disobedience. I'd rather suffer and in the process miss my calling, in the process of my decision to live in sin with my boyfriend, many lives that I could be influencing by being what I was designed by my creator to be, are lost. Their blood is on my hands. But it doesn't matter does it? Because I'm happy. It feels right. I'm a selfish bitch who doesn't care about what anyone else thinks or feels. All that matters is my relationship and the path I chose. Everyone else can "Have a Nice Life"
P.S. Pastor Dale...I love you...Please Come Home
Your sister in Christ,
April
I, like everyone else was shoked to hear of the decision that Dale had made to leave his wife and the Church. However, I have observed in life that the human mind is very fragile and can easily breakdown under pressure. I do not condone Dale's actions at all. I cannot judge them either for I do not know all the circumstances leading up to them. I do not know the home life, the emense pressures of leading a large congregation, or the stress of his life in general. Obviously he felt as though he needed something more in his life. Whatever the reasons they are for him to deal with and not us. If we, Christians, are to take any action it would be to love our brother through this situation. Also, quoting scripture to Dale seems funny. He is extremely educated in the scriptures and knows how they apply better than most, if not all, of us. I am sure he knew/knows the scriturs that relate to what he has done. The fact is, he made the choices and they are now in the past. Let's stop trying to second quess them and lend a loving hand to this couple. I for one am willing to boldly stand next to my friend no matter what it cost me, like he has done for so many before.
Thank you, Rusty Ingerson
Dale,
I have waited a long time to say anything to you. It wont be much. I guess it is so I can get out what I need to say.I want you to know I was shocked the unbelief of it that you would be in this situation. I know this is the reason we don't look up to man, for men always fail. I was consered for my boys and there thought's of it. I would not want them to fall away from God. I personally had a hard time for awhile from it but I know my destiney and I will not let anything or anyone come in the way of that. I hear people talk and I say it is not for me to judge but God. However I also know we are to point out the sin in our family not to condem but to pray fully bring them around to repentance. I know how it feels to be were you are, I cant imagine you really deep inside are as happy as you say you are. I was unsure why 3 months before all this happen the Lord spoke to me telling me this was happening and with who. Yet I threw the thoughts out thinking the enemy was putting bad thought's of you in my mind. I know now why. I was hurt yes I love you!! I was really hurting to see my family hurt Amber, Arron Trudy, so sad. The choices we make.. I know all to well.. I have faith in God he will restore all.. I hold nothing against you only to love you with God's love no matter what unconditionally that is what we are to do. I do not agree with what you are doing it is sin.. no sugar coating it. If you choice this path that is your choice you don't need me to tell what will happen. You are in my prayers if that means anything to you.In Christ Tammy
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